I genuinely believe that three years of faking my orgasms left me with a slight complex about getting what I want during sex, and that is 100% true. Why did I automatically assume that my pleasure was of secondary importance? Also, why did I feel the need to have to PRETEND I WAS ENJOYING MYSELF SO THAT THE PERSON IN QUESTION COULD HAVE A GREAT TIME? Jesus Christ I wish I had known how important orgasms were back then. I literally endured sex for the benefit of someone else. I was so AFRAID to bruise his ego that I kept quiet the whole time.
I don’t like this expression “First World problems.” It is false and it is condescending. Yes, Nigerians struggle with floods or infant mortality. But these same Nigerians also deal with mundane and seemingly luxurious hassles. Connectivity issues on your BlackBerry, cost of car repair, how to sync your iPad, what brand of noodles to buy: Third World problems. All the silly stuff of life doesn’t disappear just because you’re black and live in a poorer country. People in the richer nations need a more robust sense of the lives being lived in the darker nations. Here’s a First World problem: the inability to see that others are as fully complex and as keen on technology and pleasure as you are.
One event that illustrated the gap between the Africa of conjecture and the real Africa was the BlackBerry outage of a few weeks ago. Who would have thought Research In Motion’s technical issues would cause so much annoyance and inconvenience in a place like Lagos? But of course it did, because people don’t wake up with “poor African” pasted on their foreheads. They live as citizens of the modern world. None of this is to deny the existence of social stratification and elite structures here. There are lifestyles of the rich and famous, sure. But the interesting thing about modern technology is how socially mobile it is—quite literally. Everyone in Lagos has a phone.
“I wouldn’t necessarily mind people not knowing I’m gay, but I don’t like being thought of as straight — in the same way that I don’t mind people not knowing I’m a writer, but it would be awkward if they assumed I was an extreme skateboarder, because that’s so far removed from the reality of my life. But there is no blank slate where orientation is concerned; we are straight until proven otherwise. And if you’ve never seen how dramatically a conversation can be derailed by a casual admission of homosexuality, let me tell you, it gets awkward.”—My Life as an Invisible Queer - Cosmopolitan (via feministlibrarian)
the best thing that ever happened to me in high school was about 6 years ago our teacher never showed up for class and neither did the sub so one of the guys in the class just got up and started discussing his various theories about the island in lost and started drawing different diagrams on the board and ranting about his fan theories and everybody just went with it and raised their hands for him like he was the teacher and that was the class.
There are enough men who use their penises as weapons against women, and there are enough women who have been hurt by a penis, that it is 100% within a woman’s rights to feel threatened and/or repulsed by penises.
There’s literally nothing you can say to convince me otherwise, so don’t try.